ah ok. i dun like my project at all. i dun like my partners at all. i not ready for adult lyfe. what adult if so many bad projects and miscommunication thing. why. i wants easy job. maybe i too much bby. I really a bby tho. that why more school better for me. i dumb so i go to more school. and adult lyfe scary with too many people. i cry.
I don’t know how to work with people who won’t talk to me
It’s not a good thing that the thought of working with them makes me feel as sick as I did when I was depressed huh
No like there IS no lead. There IS no structure. There is absolutely no splitting of roles or parts
So I didn’t know what to do
Like even with my group work, when I asked for their opinions
They didn’t give any opinions at all
Yea “go with the flow” is such a weird concept to me
Because I know that at the end everyone wants the end product it’s just
No one knows how we all get there??
I want to know how we all get there because that’s how I’m used to working in groups?
Because that’s usually what happens
“Hey are you doing this part” “Ya. You have the thing from that part right” “Hey can someone help with this section or check it for me”
Like to me THAT^ is normal for groups
Not how they work Where everyone does something that someone else might be working on too? And no one talks or checks? Like I’m not even sure about things like. If I write something I feel like they’ll delete it and rewrite it. So there would’ve been no point for me to do that anyways but ??
Hey wait this was what I said in the beginning when there was no lead and organization and this inefficiency will drive me insane
Okay I’m slowly untangling the reasons why I feel sick
Probably a personal ties/respect/trust issue I have with ______
As in she doesn’t trust me but that’s fair as I haven’t done anything to warrant earning her trust But because most of this was the communication matter
Like I literally did not know what to do to help or what I could have done to help with part of our project and so I decided not to do anything.
She interpreted that the wrong way. Same with when I said I was free all Mondays and Wednesdays which meant that I could have chosen to actually do something I wanted to and join concert choir
Which she took to mean “oh you aren’t going to put any effort into this project?”
Which is completely not what I said and anyways there is so much I could have would have done if I was on or near campus
Because she heard how I said I was going to take extra classes (because one of the classes I need I need to add) And then she heard choir and thought that I wasn’t serious
On and the last reason small thing I know is that I’ll feel sick because I’ll end up not talking to them again which feels stifling in a group setting
Especially when I’m supposed to be working with them.
Other than that impending dread now that they basically expect me to be caught up and ahead of our progress by Monday